Definitions

"ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an
engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.

BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and
takes it back when it starts to rain.


CONSULTANT: Someone who uses your wife's watch, tells you the time, and
then charges you for it.

DIPLOMAT: Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way which makes you
eager to start the journey.

ECONOMIST: An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he predicted
yesterday didn't happen today.

PESSIMIST: Optimist with experience.

PROGRAMMER: Someone who fixes a problem you didn't know you had in a way
you don't understand.

PSYCHOLOGIST: Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive
woman enters the room.

STATISTICIAN: Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality
to be an engineer.

PRIEST: Someone addressed by everyone as "Father" except his children
who call him "uncle".

DANCING: The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.

HEADACHE: Method of contraception most widely used by women.

INTELLECTUAL: Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about
something other than sex.

NANOSECOND: Fraction of time which occurs between the lights turning
green and the car behind beeping its horn.

NYMPHOMANIAC: Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than
he does.

TEAMWORK: The possibility of putting the blame on others.

ETERNITY: Period of time which lasts from when you finish until when you
leave her in her house.

EASY: Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man.

HARDWARE: The part of the computer which you kick when the software
malfunctions.

INDIFFERENCE: Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has
no interest; interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get"."

(Source EMail)